Looks like they beat us in beastiality and hosting tennis tourneys. I’m gonna start this off by saying I am a relatively new tennis fan. Always thought it was a classy sport, because of that boy Roger, but never got into it. As a post-college male, tennis is the shit. As I’ve grown to watch the sport every week, I started to wonder why the sport is not as big in the U.S. as it is in other parts of the world. I can compare this with the two tournaments over the last two weeks pretty easily.
Citi (DC) Open:
Hey guys, let’s have a massive tourney in our nation’s capital. I’m sure all names will show up. Insert Alcaraz not giving a fuck. The best name we can get is Taylor Fritz?! Taylor 1-2 in the first round of majors this year Fritz?! Get the fuck out of here. Taylor Fritz is the most overrated player in the sport, just like his girl. Tiafoe is my literal Demon but usually playing two matches in one day is bitch work, especially when the first went two sets. Americans, get your shit together.
I don’t even know if I want to get into that ceremony. Made me embarrassed to be from DC. It was raining, so they brought out a smaller replica of the trophy for Danny Evans to hold up, in case it slipped. Badass move by Danny Evans to say fuck that and grab the big ass trophy and then deliver a speech with it for minutes. Who the fuck doesn’t want to hold up the real trophy? You think they have a smaller Heisman next to the big one for them to lift? No. You lift the fucking trophy if you win. It’s called sports.
Toronto Open:
So this was pretty much a Goddamn major, minus the Djokeshow. What a way to lead us into the last quarter of the season, with even my beautiful glorious king Carlitos falling short himself. The level of play here was crazy, and it was upsets galore the first couple rounds. It also helps that 9/10 of the top ten players were in attendance.
It also just felt well done. They also had dog shit weather, but they didn’t freak out when it happened. Isn’t that odd?? When did Canada become more loosely regulated that America. But, I digress. I just wish those players would come to our shitty tournament instead. Also, it doesn’t hurt to show highlights during a rain delay.
Photo Courtesy of Doug Kapustin/FOR THE WASHINGTON POST